Reframing Success: Letting Go of Expectations and Embracing Your Dog’s Pace

When you live with a fearful, anxious, or sensitive dog, it can feel like the world is moving at a pace you simply can’t keep up with.

Other people are heading to the pub with their dogs or walking confidently through busy parks. And then there’s you—maybe choosing early mornings, avoiding the school run, and taking quiet routes to keep your dog (and yourself) feeling safe.

It’s easy to feel like you’re falling behind.

But here’s the truth: you’re not.

You’re just walking a different path— and that path is just as real, just as important—and it matters.

Success Isn’t Always What You Imagined

Many guardians start out with certain ideas about what life with a dog will look like. Weekend walks, dog cafés, spontaneous adventures. And when those things don’t happen—or become stressful instead of joyful—it can feel like grief. Not necessarily grief for your dog, but for the version of life you thought you’d have together.

That feeling is real. It matters. And you’re allowed to acknowledge it.

But part of supporting a dog with big feelings is learning to redefine what “success” looks like. Because for your dog, success might be:

• Feeling safe enough to explore a new scent

• Choosing to check in with you instead of reacting

• Resting deeply after a walk instead of pacing or hiding

• Coping with a small challenge that would’ve been impossible weeks ago

These moments are quiet. They don’t always look impressive to the outside world. But they’re huge when you know how far your dog has come.

Progress Doesn’t Always Feel Like Progress

It’s normal for things to improve steadily, in uneven steps. One day your dog copes well, and the next day they react as if nothing has changed. That’s part of the learning process—not a failure, not a step backward, just information.

Your dog’s pace might not match your hopes or timelines. But the more we honour where they are rather than pushing for where we think they should be, the more we create space for real, sustainable progress.

Letting Go of the Comparison Trap

Other dogs are not your dog. Other people’s experiences don’t invalidate yours.

If you find yourself caught in the comparison trap—scrolling through highlight reels or listening to well-meaning advice that doesn’t fit your reality—it’s okay to step back. Protecting your emotional space is part of being a great guardian too.

Redefine Success in a Way That Celebrates Connection

What if success had nothing to do with fixing behaviour—and everything to do with how safe your dog feels with you?

What if it meant helping your dog feel safe, seen, and supported—even when things are challenging?

That kind of success doesn’t show up in before-and-after photos. But it shows up in the way your dog starts to look at you with softer eyes. It shows up in those shared, quiet moments that only the two of you truly understand.

So, here’s a new definition of success for today:

• You showed up.

• You listened to your dog.

• You adjusted, adapted, and tried again.

That’s enough. In fact, that’s everything.